Whether you’ve been down this road before or are new to the toddler bedtime scene, there can be battle royales that occur when it’s time to go to bed. Separation anxiety, developmental milestones, or just a desire to assert independence, can all be to blame.
Dealing with these toddler bedtime battles is not easy, especially if they happen frequently. As a sleep consultant, I’ve dealt with plenty of bedtime issues involving babies and toddlers. Some issues are easier to handle than others.
If you’re going through this right now, I feel for you! I know it’s not easy. That’s why I’ve put together a little crash course on how to deal with toddler bedtime battles. Read on to discover some helpful tips that can hopefully make bedtime less of a nightmare.
Dealing with Toddler Bedtime Battles 101
Establish a Bedtime Routine
Toddlers are creatures of habit. Establishing a bedtime routine lets them know bedtime is near and gives them a chance to wind down and get ready to sleep.
Make sure the routine is relaxing. It can include a bath, a story, or listening to calm music, whatever it takes to take your toddler down a few notches and signal that it’s time for bed.
Be sure to keep the routine no longer than 30 minutes. You don’t want the routine to turn into a never-ending party with your toddler not realizing that the end goal is sleep, and plenty of it. Keeping it under 30 minutes should be enough time to get the job done.
Make a bedtime routine chart. Toddlers are visual little people. Use pictures to make a chart showing them what their bedtime routine is going to include. This not only makes everything clear, but it also makes the bedtime routine a little interactive. They can even check off the activities each night. This gives them a sense of accomplishment too. You can get crafty and add stickers or whatever else you want to make it fun.
Take Care of All the Needs Before Bed
“I’m thirsty”. “I’m hungry”. These are common battle cries in the toddler bedtime trenches. Be sure to take care of all the basic needs before bed. Be sure they ate and had enough to drink, just not too close to bedtime because you want to avoid them having to get up in the middle of the night too much to use the potty. This can create an entirely different set of problems. So, be sure they’ve also gone to the bathroom right before bed.
When it comes to what they’re eating and drinking, you typically want to avoid any sugary foods close to bedtime because that’s only going to work against you. They will likely make your child hyper, making sleep the last thing on their minds.
Be Firm and Set Boundaries
If you’re wishy-washy on bedtime and everything that goes along with it, you can’t expect your toddler to take you seriously. They’re going to fight you with all that they have in them because they know they’ll win in the end.
Be clear about what you expect. Set a reasonable bedtime so that they know it’s time to go to bed. Tell them what the game plan is whether it’s bath, brushing teeth, storytime, or something else. This way, they know what’s going to happen and what they should be doing.
Don’t cave in. When your toddler cries, and they will, don’t cave in when it comes to bedtime. Stand firm no matter how tough it is. All you have to do is crack once and your toddler will know what they have to do to get their way.
Create a Cozy Sleep Environment
Some kids may use the excuse that it’s too hot or too cold in the room, or that it’s too dark. By making sure they have the coziest sleep environment, you can try to avoid this from happening.
Make it comfy. You can make their bed as comfy as possible by allowing them to pick out their pillow and blankets. You can even ask them which pajamas they want to wear instead of picking them out for them. This not only makes bedtime cozy but also allows them to make some decisions so that they feel like they’re part of the process and not just being told what to do. Sometimes the littlest things make the biggest difference. Also, check the thermostat to make sure that the room temperature is good too.
Use a night light. If your child is afraid of the dark, use a night light. This is another opportunity where they can weigh in by letting them choose one with their favorite character on it. This is not only going to serve the purpose but may provide additional comfort knowing their favorite character is kinda there too.
Avoid electronics before bed. Many toddlers are on tablets and iPads throughout the day. This is a big no-no at night. The blue light that these devices emit can interfere with the production of melatonin, which can impact sleep. You don’t need anything else getting in the way of your toddler sleeping! Keep the electronics away before bed, you’ll thank me later.
Talk About Bedtime Fears
If your child tells you they’re afraid to go to sleep for whatever reason, talk about it. If you just brush it under the rug, your toddler’s bedtime battles won’t go away. Reassure them that there’s nothing to be afraid of and that everyone needs to sleep to get energy for the next day. Show them there are no monsters in the closet or under the bed and give them the green light to get some sleep.
Be Patient (I Know it’s Hard!)
Getting over bedtime battles isn’t easy, but if your child sees you getting frustrated, they’re only going to feed off this frustration.
Be patient and take a timeout when you need to. While it can be so hard, be patient with your toddler when they make a fuss about going to bed, even if it is regularly. Step out of the room if you have to so you can gather your thoughts without throwing a tantrum of your own.
Don’t give up! This won’t last forever. But, if you feel as though you’ve tried everything and you’re just not winning the good fight, it may be time to talk to a sleep consultant.
As a pediatric sleep consultant, I’ve helped countless families deal with all types of toddler bedtime battles. I can take a look at your situation and offer valuable advice and tips on how you can put an end to the bedtime chaos. If you’re interested, you can check out my sleep consultant services here.
